The Burden of Adults on the Shoulders of Children: What Has the War Done to the Children of Gaza?

In the context of the ongoing aggression on Gaza, a new psychological phenomenon is emerging: thousands of children are being deprived of their childhood and are assuming the roles of adults after losing their fathers and mothers. The ongoing aggression on Gaza has left tens of thousands of children who have lost one or both parents, and nearly a million children displaced, forcing them to give up playing and studying and pushing them to engage in responsibilities beyond their age. In this harsh environment, these children are turning into “little breadwinners” in a desperate attempt to fill the void left by the absence of adults. However, the enormous psychological burden these roles carry may leave deep wounds in their souls that will last their entire lives.

Scenes from the painful reality in Gaza

In the streets of Gaza, the features of this daily tragedy are clearly visible; we see a child no older than ten years old working to carry 25 kilogram bags of flour on his small shoulders, in return for earning a few shekels to feed his siblings after his father was martyred and his mother was lost. We see another twelve-year-old carrying his infant brother on his back constantly, taking care of him after his mother was martyred. We also see a ten-year-old girl walking long distances every day to fetch heavy gallons of water, and another carrying her sister who is unable to walk and is closer in age on her shoulder in search of a safe place. Another child comforts his widowed, bereaved and wounded mother who is unable to turn to him, to encourage her and comfort her. These examples are not individual cases; rather, they are daily images that reflect the bleak reality suffered by hundreds of thousands of children in Gaza, who have been deprived of their childhood and their natural dependence on their parents under the weight of the genocide that has left no family without harm and loss.

Psychological dimensions of children's tolerance of their parents' roles

The roles imposed on children in war have complex and difficult-to-recover psychological consequences. The stress these children are exposed to is a severe and persistent type of psychological stress that exceeds the child’s physical and psychological ability to cope. This type of stress affects the healthy development of the brain and the child’s normal emotional connections. Children living under this stress lose the ability to concentrate and learn, and show a tendency to withdraw socially, which impairs their psychological and cognitive development.

Although giving children some responsibilities that are appropriate to their age and abilities may improve their self-confidence and contribute to their development, children performing roles that are beyond their age deprives them of the opportunity to build their psychological and social identity in a healthy way. Instead of exploring themselves through education and play, they find themselves stuck in living responsibilities that are not appropriate for their abilities. These children later suffer from difficulty in defining themselves beyond the roles of breadwinner and caregiver imposed on them by the war.

Another psychological aspect of this suffering is the suppression of emotions and chronic feelings of guilt, as children are forced to suppress their feelings so as not to appear weak in front of their siblings, which increases their sense of responsibility and burdens them psychologically. These children feel guilty whenever they are unable to meet the needs of their families, and this feeling may lead to anxiety disorders and depression in the future.

Children are also subjected to what is known as the “normalization of suffering,” where violence and suffering become a normal part of their daily lives. This normalization renders children unable to recognize a normal childhood, which exacerbates their psychological suffering and increases their exposure to risks disproportionate to their age. For example, we heard a child say (children don’t grow up in Gaza) in response to the question: What will you do when you grow up?

Moreover, children who play the role of caregivers in their families have difficulty building healthy relationships in the future. For them, the concepts of love and care are associated with carrying heavy burdens, which makes them either over-give or avoid engaging in romantic relationships for fear of falling into the trap of responsibility again.

Difficulties of psychological intervention under bombardment

In this dire reality, psychological intervention is an urgent necessity, but its implementation in an environment subject to bombardment and siege is extremely difficult. Psychological support cannot be provided effectively under continuous bombardment, as children are deprived of a safe environment in which to absorb and recover from trauma. In addition, the power and internet blackouts and the massive destruction of infrastructure prevent the provision of assistance effectively from outside the Strip.

Even when psychotherapy sessions are available, therapists struggle to make sustained progress due to the ongoing fear, hunger, displacement and instability. A child cannot recover from the trauma of losing his or her parents while they are under the threat of death or displacement at any moment. While psychotherapy programs are important, they need to be integrated with community and international efforts that provide protection for children and restore the sense of security they have lost.

Ways of intervention and psychosocial support

To alleviate the suffering of these children, comprehensive support must be provided to restore their normal role and psychological and social balance. In addition to psychological treatment, alleviating the burden on children requires providing direct financial assistance to affected families and encouraging community members to take care of these children, to prevent children from being forced to work at an early age. The local community must also be involved in providing care and guardianship for these children. Community members can be trained to provide psychological support to children, in addition to establishing community centers that provide children with sports and artistic activities that help them express themselves. Safe educational environments must also be provided to reintegrate children into schools and compensate for the educational loss resulting from the war. These efforts must be integrated with international campaigns that pressure to end the genocide and ensure humanitarian access to Gaza.

The “strength” shown by Gaza’s children in bearing the burden is not always a source of pride, but rather a cry for help that reflects the depth of the suffering they are experiencing. These children need real support that will restore their stolen childhood and provide them with the opportunity to grow up normally in a safe environment where their basic rights are respected. Restoring their childhood is not a luxury, but an urgent necessity to ensure a healthy future for Palestinian society.

Dr. Samah Jaber - Psychiatrist and mental health counselor, human rights activist, and head of the Mental Health Unit at the Palestinian Ministry of Health.